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The Cloud… A Public Service Announcement

by @ 11:11 am on 4/1/2013. Filed under humour

Cloud: a visible mass of particles of condensed vapor (as water or ice) suspended in the atmosphere of a planet (as the earth) or moon.

Think back a few short years ago, that simple word brought wonderful visions of beautiful light airy vapor floating aimlessly across the sky.

Visualize it, if you can… Whole afternoons spent laying in a hammock, grinning happily, sipping at a lemonade, the beautiful melody from a blue bird, the smell of fresh cut grass, bumblebees buzzing from flower to flower, in the distance the light chirp of frogs in the pond and perhaps the gentle hum of a cicada, a day of the sun beating down upon you with its life giving warmth, a cool breeze gently wafts over you while you play eye games watching the clouds drift lazily drifting across the azure[1] blue sky…

20_fluffy_clouds

 

 

Fairly recently that beautiful simple word, cloud, was hijacked and redefined to mean something not so simple nor beautiful. The word has been abused and overused and purposely meant to confuse and now the first, original definition of the word isn’t the first, or even 30th, to pop up in Google… or even, usually, unfortunately, the first that comes to mind. Instead of the concept of "cloud" floating lazily along kissing the edges of your brain, "The Cloud" slams headlong into your prefrontal cortex not entirely unlike the impact of a hurricane…

Cloud: something that has a dark, lowering, or threatening aspect

dustcloud

 

Due to the rape and consequent pillage and synergistically over-used nature of the re-purposed version of the word "Cloud", I would like to propose that Public Cloud Services, aka "The Cloud", be renamed to something closer to reality – Public Internet System Services

If you want to run your system services from the public internet, why can’t we just use a name that says that basic information directly instead of confusing everyone with "The Cloud". That way normal people don’t stand around asking what the hell "The Cloud" means or as it is more often heard in general use – "The Cloud??? WTF is that?". Also this would help slow down statements from the functionally illiterate like , ‘I am perfectly safe, I have everything saved in "The Cloud".’

The Public Internet System Services should immediately and permanently be associated with the underlying systems they rely on… Super Highavailability Infrastructure Technology. All of this is to support the function of Application System Services. The Application System Services layer supports the platform that people will use to actually produce their offerings that they spread throughout the world… The Customized Redundant Application Platform[2]

With those renames in place, we can once again go back to a world in which "The Cloud" means something good and hopeful and healthy and happy.

hammock 

 

     joe

 

P.S. Happy April first.

 

[1] Azure, if you weren’t aware… IS A COLOR!

[2] Thanks to my good friend WSN who let me know what that new name was for the application platform . I usually try to stay away from the end user application layer… It is too messy generally. That is why in general I produce utilities or tools and not solutions.

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