I have been promising to do this for over a year now… share the funniest email that I have personally ever received from someone I didn’t know. Don’t get me wrong, I get a lot of really funny email from friends, they all know how much I love to laugh. This is so funny because it wasn’t intended to be funny, someone seriously thought they could make me feel bad about my opening picture on my website.
So on April 21, 2005 I receive the following email
—–Original Message—–
From: Craig XXXX [XXXXX]
Sent: Thursday, April 21, 2005 11:06 AM
To: joe@joeware.net
Subject: Question about changing the photo on entry page for Joeware.netYour tools are great, but I’m not able to refer any customers to your site because of the picture on the entry page of the kid lifting up the girl’s skirt. Ever think of changing it?
Thanks,
Craig
As you may imagine, I read and started laughing. As a whole, I get probably 30 emails a month about the entry picture for the web site. Usually it is 30 comments of that is great or that is funny or other items like that. In the 6 or so years the pic has been up this was maybe the third bad comment. I have no problem with people stating their opinion, that is fine. I tried to make my response short and succinct….
—-Original Message Follows—-
From: “joe”
To: “‘Craig XXXX'”
Subject: RE: Question about changing the photo on entry page for Joeware.net
Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2005 13:38:24 -0400
Nope.
The response back from Craig made me laugh even harder.
—–Original Message—–
From: Craig XXXX [XXXX]
Sent: Friday, April 22, 2005 12:25 AM
To: joe@joeware.net
Subject: RE: Question about changing the photo on entry page for Joeware.netThen don’t expect to be taken seriously.
So I respondedÂ
—-Original Message Follows—-
From: “joe”
To: “‘Craig XXX'”
Subject: RE: Question about changing the photo on entry page for Joeware.net
Date: Fri, 22 Apr 2005 08:21:08 -0400LOL.
For some reason, I find that I am really not too concerned about your opinion on that.
  Thanks!
That is the same response I would have given anyone, it wasn’t anything against Craig. My goal in life is not to be taken seriously, it is to enjoy myself. If I happen to do things that people take seriously, bully for them, it isn’t my target but I am fine if I accidently hit that target for others. Just don’t make assumptions about me based on the target in your life I am hitting. To put it another way, just because he feels I want to be taken seriously  or he feels he wants me to be taken seriously has no impact on what I actually want or will work towards. Aside from that, I know how popular my tools are and I know how much they help people and how seriously the people they help take me and the tools. I am constantly getting emails about how much money the tools save them either directly or indirectly. They are used in the militaries, the governments, schools, universities, police departments, small businesses, massively big businesses, you name it…
Craig’s next response was one step backward from insult and then three steps forward into stupidity and insult.Â
—–Original Message—–
From: Craig XXXX [XXXX]
Sent: Friday, April 22, 2005 3:30 PM
To: joe@joeware.net
Subject: RE: Question about changing the photo on entry page for Joeware.net
It wasn’t intended to be a flame at all. I applaud all the effort you’ve put into those tools. That is why I think it is a shame to have the photo on the home page. Maybe there is another photo that expresses the “never stop learning” idea, that doesn’t look like it might be on a kiddie porn site? Is that one photo really that important to you?
Kiddie porn? Seriously? This suddenly got more interesting… I decided to put more than 10 seconds into the response this next time… I needed to understand how a healthy adult could look at a small child lifting the skirt of another small child and see that as porn.  First off though, the definition of porn:
pornography: creative activity (writing or pictures or films etc.) of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire
I don’t know about you, but when i look at that picture my sexual desire is not stimulated. Not even a little bit. Â
—–Original Message—–
From: joe [mailto:joe@joeware.net]
Sent: Saturday, April 23, 2005 10:03 AM
To: ‘Craig XXXX’
Subject: RE: Question about changing the photo on entry page for Joeware.net
Thanks. Everyone has an opinion and I welcome all of them, even those at odds with mine, I am pretty open about that. My response was simply based on how busy I am and the fact that I know who is currently consuming these tools so I have practical working knowledge of how seriously I am taken.
I have to say that I find I fail to understand how any well grounded healthy adult could consider that photo as anything approaching kiddie porn and be offended by it. If I thought about it at all I would simply tend to wonder how that line of thought could be rationalized. I certainly didn’t place that photo there because I feel it is in any way, shape or form erotic. I think it is humourous.
The idea that the photo offends people isn’t a good enough reason for me to change it. I really have no problem offending people; I do it often and sometimes even on purpose. I am a strong disbeliever in censorship. People who don’t like what they see or hear are fully welcome to look away or change the channel or surf to another website or whatever.
In the end, if I change that splash screen, it will be because I found something I like better or I want to change the whole look/feel of the site to something I like better. I guess if others would like me to change it, it is possible for them to get me to do so. It would either be to convince me that another look/format is better (in my mind) or pay to have it removed. I figure if I got ~$2,000,000USD total in paypal donations with a requests on each donation of “remove the photo” I would at least move it from the splash screen.
 take care
Sadly, that was the end of the conversation. I was actually hoping to see what kind of a rationalization I would get that tried to back peddle from the looking at a picture of a child doing something a child would do which, outside of unbalanced/unhealthy adults wrapping their own perverse intent around and seeing something dirty, was completely fun and innocent.
It kind of is like the post from yesterday of the latest email from the AFA. I wonder who would look at a picture of an erect Jesus nailed to a cross and be aroused. Was it too much for Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman of the AFA? Did he see it and start to think impure thoughts? Did his wife? Do you think Jesus was mad being portrayed that way? Maybe he was happy being shown strong and virile like he had consumed a bottle of Viagra or something… Look at me, even when nailed to a cross, fully ready for anything god throws at me… thank you Pfizer…. But wait, viagra wasn’t around then… Wow, I want to know what Jesus knew and live like he did… if he can be nailed to a cross and still be that excited about life… he obviously knows something I don’t!!!
If people see or hear certain words or see pictures of people in certain poses or positions or in (or out) of certains pieces of apparal and immediately start thinking “bad”[1] things I think, in general, it says more about the person than the photos or the words.
 joe
[1]Â I am won’t even start to define this as I expect everyone has radically different opinions on what this means.
Â
joe,
I work for a Law Enforcement Agency and I have to admit I tend to agree partially with what Craig mentioned.
I don’t take things too seriously, but many people in different places do and some have mentioned the same thing to me about your site. Fortunately though when the people have used your tools, they don’t tend to give a rats ass what picture is there as long as your tool does what they need.
So I agree with both parts.
Hi Joe,
Firstly I’d like to say I love the tools you produce and I am attempting to be well versed in them. I am also a big fan of your work and am currently studying (not reading) the ad3e book of yours.
I said that first because I wanted to make sure you were in a good/considerate mood for what I wanted to say next 🙂 Now, I felt like I should comment on this article. Smileys dont cut it all the time and as the tone cannot be adequately expressed through words, please imagine as if this is a “reasoning tone”.
I *think* the reason “Craig” (I am not sure if thats his real name or if his identity is been protected) and the other people who felt compelled to write a bad comment on the entry pic is due to their sincere belief that it induces sex related thoughts. I am not suggesting that they immediately start getting aroused at the sight of the pic, but more along the lines of skirt – lift – female genitalia type related thoughts occurring one after another. At this point, warning lights start going off in their head as to how they should feel/deal with this popping up in their head.
OK, a little background now. I am a practicing “Hare Krishna” devotee. I recall reading a letter by our founder in which he was explaining the behaviour of some of his sincere yet immature disciples. The “Hare Krishna”‘s view the world as a miserable place with a lot of suffering which people are attached to living in, simply out of sex desire. Therefore some immature yet sincere spiritualists who desire something a little higher/sublime, may take the stance of strongly rejecting that which is unfavourable(in their view), such as sex. They do this simply to protect themselves from been dragged down to the same consciousness as the “non-devotees”. It doesnt necessarily mean they are perverts. It simply means they are more easily agitated by sensual stimuli and are scared of turning out to be perverts!
So, I see Craig’s email as a letter from someone in a similar background. Someone who doesnt want to be agitated so much, in a world where sex/sexuality is been forced as a norm more and more. Crickey I sound like a grandad! Now, I completely agree with your points. The pic is funny. Kids get up to some pretty funny yet scary stuff these days. And yes, One should never stop exploring. As the “Hare Krishna”‘s would say exploring for the absolute truth.
What I am suggesting is that your spend a moment thinking of this from Craig’s point of view. Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. Yes you have a choice. To either change it , or not. You could change it for many reasons. Among them would be “found a better pic” or “for the greater good of humanity” Or you could stick with it like you have done so far. I wont say whats right or wrong. You can decide that yourself.
Well I think I may have ended up writing the funniest comment you received from a stranger; or something close. Thank you for reading.
Yours sincerely
Matheesha
WTF. When I lament the day technology opened up to PHBs and thinskinned management-hopefuls. What I love is this need for seriousness and humorlessness that seems to pervade corporate culture and IT (which used to be the last refuge for folks who didn’t give a rats ass). I find it amazing that all these people who drool over the great utilities — don’t these speak for themselves ? Get a grip.
Hmmm…
Iain: What does it matter if you work for a law enforcement agency? Does working for a law enforcement agency automatically make you an authority on child pornography? Does that mean that because I work for the Defense Department, I’m now an authority on close quarters combat?
I don’t understand what the big deal is; I’m one for decorum and all that, but Joe’s splash picture is nothing more than humorous.
Oooo. We got a hot one up in here… 😉
Iain:
Not sure I follow the “I’m a police officer” part. One of my best friend’s husband is a police officer and if I showed that photo to him I know for a fact he would just laugh. I would be surprised if in any way shape or form he thought it erotic or pornographic in any way.
Matheesha:
Interesting viewpoint. I think those reaching for a “higher or more sublime plane” need to first get some level of control over themselves. If they feel that they can be “corrupted” by something so simple, that doesn’t bode well for their spiritual health I think. Heck, if they are so self-aware and pushing so hard for that higher existence they should be able to look at a full on hard core image (I will let the audience decide exactly what that is because opinions vary) and not be disturbed. You should not depend on the calmness of the outside world to maintain your calm. Anyone with that requirement is going to have a difficult life and will be tilting at a lot of windmills or will otherwise be quite unsettled. Someone who feels they need that external calm would need to withdraw from life versus trying to force the rest of the world to bow to that desire.
Fred,
I never said it mattered whether i work in Law Enforcement, I was just part of my reply. In my place of work, I’ve had a few people who have seen the splashscreen when walking past my cube and have commented on the picture. I’m not saying that I don’t agree with the picture, i actually think it’s pretty funny and I understand the humor but what my view is and what people see me accessing without understanding I am downloading a great set of tools are different things.
joe:
I wasn’t suggesting that being a Police Officer would make a difference to how they would view the picture. Those who know you would get the joke, some innocent non technical person who walks past and sees the splashscreen may offer a different opinion.
Me, I don’t care, I get the joke, the point i was making was I can understand those who don’t, whether i agree is irrelevent. I can just see both arguments.
Joe:
Thank you for your reply. Those who are reaching for a “higher or more sublime plane†*are* in the process trying to get “control over themselves” . If they feel agitated by something simple, it doesnt necessarily mean doom to their spiritual health. It just means they are having a tougher time passing the test than others. I appreciate the comment on been able to withstand hardcore content. Eventually they will reach it. The process they follow is such, that they dont have to prove to themselves like “see I can handle that!”. They will eventually reach the stage. Just like a guy trying to quit smoking will stay away from those things that would cause him to smoke in the beginning, but later is able to be in those surroundings without issues. Similarly these guys distance themselves from that which they find “awkward”. I’m sure you’ve noticed some guys find it easy to quit while others struggle to quit smoking. I agree completely with “You should not depend on the calmness of the outside world to maintain your calm”. But it will take a little while to reach that stage. Some unfortunately stay in artificial environments with no such “agitations” and then when they have to face “reality” they find they are not so strong. Hence many indian yogi’s who were in forests before but later visited the western world with a view to “deliver the masses” were soon “getting jiggy” with the disciples ;-).
Spiritual life is definitely challenging but certaintly not impossible. Withdrawing from life is a very artificial solution. Just like the yogi’s mentioned above, they may feel they’ve cracked it but it may still be deep rooted and not fixed. Why? Simply because there were no stimuli to test them once withdrawed from society.I don’t think these guys are trying to get the world to bow down to their desire. It may seem like so. In my opinion, I think their idea of clean jokes is extremely mild jokes. And it just so happens that your pic is not mild enough to their tastes.
Cheers
Matheesha
Iain:
What you did is actually a logical fallacy called appealing to authority. While mentioning your working for law enforcement may have been merely “part of your reply”, it’s still a part of your reply and you used it, conciously or not, to buttress the point you happened to be making at the time. I was merely trying to show how working for law enforcement (or not) didn’t matter.
Fred,
Whatever i said I made as a comment, not to be analysed to the extent your going to. Maybe a new hobby is required for yourself.
If your opinion is that working for law enforcement doesn’t matter, then I have no problem with that, in my environment, some people do find it matters if they don’t understand the joke.
I’m not labouring this point any further.
The picture is a harmless photo of some of the funny things kids do. If people see this as something “arousing” or something that looks like kiddie porn….they are a bunch of perverted freaks. They should all have their balls removed. And I, being the helpful citizen I am, will be happy to do the job.