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Those damn terrorists….

No more gel filled bras on airline flights unless needed for medical reasons… 

See http://improbable.com/2006/08/17/travel-alert-bring-a-gel-filled-bra/

which points at the TSA not allowed list at

http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/prohibited/new-items.shtm

 

I found that a bit humorous but it does follow with where we are going at the moment… However it makes me think of another issue… Women with implants or for that matter, anyone with implants… Is that fat man really that fat or does he have a couple of large liquid implants in his belly? What about that woman with the shelf butt? No longer will you be thinking, wow, how will she get into that seat, you will be wondering if that is real or when she blows one she really blows one? 

Someone willing to blow up a plane they are on is probably expecting to die, probably even better to them if they are the first one taken out so they don’t have to deal with the falling from the sky part huh? So you go see one of those hack plastic surgeons in Florida and let them insert the proper sacs and its all over for some unsuspecting flight. The answer… Body Mass Index sensors that everyone has to go through, if you don’t seem to have enough muscle mass then you don’t get on the plane!!! Seriously, I know a lot of small skinny people that would love this since they won’t have the two fat men on either side of them for an 8 hour flight issue any more… Of course, that would just about completely kill the corporate travel world unless all companies started giving out gym memberships and required you to spend 5 hours a week there as part of your 40 hours a week of work (yeah I chuckled too when I wrote the 40 hours a week…).

Again, I contend this is an unsolvable problem (at least with present technology/resources) but it seems we are content to just go along and make it more and more painful for the majority of people not blowing planes up until someone in power finally makes that realization and says this is silly. With luck, maybe it will occur before too many airlines go belly up or they all start garbage picking like Northwest Airlines.

How do I see this being solvable at all? Self contained spherical pods that travelers are placed in with their baggage. The pods are designed such that if an explosion goes off, the force is redirected away from the plane itself. Say like a specific small section of the floor is the weakest portion of the pod and if an explosion occurs, the force is directed out the bottom of the plane in such a way as to not damage the plane. You still check the luggage out for explosives and such, radioactives, etc because you don’t want someone bringing on a nuke as no pod is going to contain that, but the smaller stuff that seems to be able to be snuck by should be able to be blocked by the pod design. These pods can not be exited while the plane is in flight. It has its own air supply and water supply and “facilities”. There are no stewardesses. You get in the pods with all of your stuff and you get loaded on the plane(s) (and eventually trains, buses, etc) and don’t get let out until you reach your destination. These pods would come in single seat (small, medium, and large), 2 seat, and family size pods. Pods are sound proof so you can play your music or movie as loud as you want. There is power so you actually plug in your laptop or other device versus it dying out on you after a couple of hours. The pods would float in the event of a water landing, no depending on holding onto the cushions properly. They have autodeploy parachutes if something actually did take the plane out at 36,000 feet. If spherical as mentioned they would be more likely to survive crashes etc as the sphere is one of the strongest shapes naturally and if the internals are built properly, you could always be right side up and shielded from a considerable amount of the impact forces.

Personally I would much prefer a travel environment like that assuming I have enough room to at least stand up occasionally as I wouldn’t have to deal with the morons who forgot to use or don’t believe in using deodorent or smell like they smoked 10 packs of cigarettes prior to boarding or are drunk or smell like they pissed themselves or just stink for whatever reason or are annoying or like to sleep on their neighbor (accompanied with drooling or wandering hands), or listening to crappy music or get up and disturb the two people next to them because they had to have a window seat 15,000 times in a 2 hour flight or any number of things that I find offensive and/or annoying while flying. 🙂

Also consider how great that would be for catching connections? Your pod gets pulled off of one plane and rolled directly to the other plane, you aren’t trying to figure out what gate they moved everything too after you made a mad dash clear across the airport, etc…  

The downsides? I am sure folks can come up with some. The main one I can think of right off is if you go into heart failure. You are pretty much screwed as no one is getting to you to help you. But then really, I have known a few stewardesses and they really weren’t going to be saving anyone anyway if there is a problem. Oh another issue, at least from the standpoint of the airline workers is that you wouldn’t need any stewardesses anymore. That would be a little sad as I have met many nice stewards and stewardesses or Air Flight Customer Service or whatever else you want to call them. Finally the mile high club wouldn’t be so exclusive anymore; everyone would be doing it. 😉

Anyway, I think we are quite a ways from doing that in any efficient, comfortable, financially feasible way… I guess we could always work on teleportation too… But then we have to watch out as the only thing the terrorists have to do then is stick house flies in the teleportation modules…

Deee dee dee deet 10 people turned into human-fly hybrids today, the terrorists are out of control. Hologram at 11!

  joe