I was digging through some old files (like 1995/1996 old) today and found a couple of old gems I will post… this is one of them…
joe
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Some of you programmers expressed irritation about being described as eccentric in last week’s top ten list. To placate you, we present an excerpt from some email forwarded to us by one of our engineers…
Some important theological questions can best be answered by thinking of God as a computer programmer:
Q: Did God really create the world in seven days?
A: He did it in six days and nights while living on cola and candy bars. On the seventh day he went home and found out his girlfriend had left him.
Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?
A: If a critical error occurs, the system pages him automatically and he logs on from home to try to bring it up. Otherwise, things can wait until tomorrow.
Q: How come the Age of Miracles ended?
A: That was the development phase of the project. Now we’re in the maintenance phase.
Q: Who is Satan?
A: Satan is an MIS director who takes credit for more powers than he actually possesses, so nonprogrammers become scared of him. God thinks he’s irritating but irrelevant.
Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?
A: God thought he eliminated evil in one of the earlier revs.
Q: How can I protect myself from evil?
A: Change your password every month and don’t make it a name, a common word, or a date like your birthday.
Q: If I pray to God, will he listen?
A: You can waste his time telling him what to do, or you can just get off his back and let him program.
Q: Some people claim they hear the voice of God. Is this true?
A: They are much more likely to receive email.
