The Golden Rule doesn’t work. How would you like to meet a masochist who did unto others as he would have them do unto him? Or a worshiper of the Crocodile God, who craves the honor of being thrown alive into the pit? Even the Samaritan, who started the whole thing… what made him think that the man he found lying at the roadside wanted to have oil poured in his wounds? What if the man was using those quiet moments to heal himself spiritually, enjoying the challenge of it?
Even if the Rule was changed to Do unto others as they want to be done to, we can’t know how anybody but ourselves wants to be done to. What the Rule means, and how we apply it honestly, is this: Do unto others as you truly feel like doing unto others. Meet a masochist with this rule and you do not have to flog him with a whip, simply because that what he would you to do unto him. Nor are you required to throw the worshipper to the crocodiles.
– Richard Bach “Illusions”
🙂 I’m gonna pretend that this is a serious critique and ask what is meant by “doesn’t work”?
I suggest that if everyone attempted, however imperfectly, to honor the interests of others over their own, the world would be a much better place to live. If that’s true, then I would conclude that the rule “worked” even if it didn’t take every ridiculous example into account.
Is this a less ridiculous example?
Person X married to Person Y. Person X doesn’t really like (for whatever reason) Person Y and is very unhappy. Person Y on the other hand can’t live without Person X. Should Person X continue to subject themselves to unhappiness to maintain the interests of Person Y?
Just posing the question. Overall I think the author is saying that people are mostly good and don’t need a rule telling them to do so specifically. In fact it is telling them don’t feel guilty if you do something that isn’t something others would necessarily like if it makes you happy because in the end, we are all responsible for our own happiness. Taken to the extreme it could be carte blanche to go kill people off, but if we are marking off the extremes from the golden rule, I guess you need to do so in the not-golden rule as well.
I will have to mull it over a bit.
It’s certainly a less ridiculous example, but it kind of misses my point that the existence of exceptions doesn’t mean the rule “doesn’t work”.
“…in the end, we are all responsible for our own happiness”
I think this is the attitude Christ[1] is taking exception to with the rule. I think that is the natural way to think and what makes the Golden Rule golden is this admonition to regard others more highly than ourselves. That’s certainly not an easy charge, at least for me.
[1] I realize others have said very similar things, but I think in our culture, it’s most frequently identified with Christianity and the orginal quote references the Samaritan which certainly gives it a Judeo-Christian context.
Ah I think I see what you are saying.
I think it kind of goes both ways. You have people who are very selfish and treat others poorly in deference to themselves and people who are very selfless and treat themselves poorly in deference to others. I think the key may be moderation in both. Don’t regard others as higher than ourselves but also don’t regard ourselves higher than others.
I myself find it very difficult to not put others above me in things that I do and try to take care of everyone around me before taking care of myself. Its something I have been trying to force myself to not do because I don’t actually believe it is a healthy way to live a life though everyone enjoys calling you a nice guy.
As an example I was out biking with a friend the other day, the temp dropped like 10 degrees to about 50 and got pretty windy and the sun wasn’t warming us up. We started talking about gloves and how good of an idea it would have been to bring some… My friend said if she had brought two pair I could have had one of the pairs. I said well if I had even one pair I would have given it to her. She said of course because she was a girl… I said no, that is just the way I am… Then she said, well if I had one pair I would give you one of the gloves and I would wear the other… That was, IMO, the best plan out of the bunch.