One of the books I am currently reading is Family First by Dr. Phil. I don’t have children but I think it is a good book anyway. I have lots of nieces and nephews and friends with kids and maybe at some point I will have one or more as well but I think it is a good book just to read for yourself because at some point, you were a kid yourself.
Anyway I found a passage that was, IMO, exceptionally good.
Talk to your children about the fact that they own their feelings. Their sadness or anger is not caused by someone else. They are not mad because someone else made them mad. They’re angy or sad because of how they choose to respond. Emotional responses are triggered by our interpretation – the meaning we assign to a situation. In other words, our emotions flow from the meaning we attach to situations. By helping your children understand this connection, you can help your kids become more accountable for how they react to stressful situations and problems in their lives. Whatever the situation, they can choose their reactions.
I read that passage three or four times and thought it was great for anyone, not just kids.
Steven Covey says this also in “Seven Habits” – we can choose our response to situations. It isn’t fore-ordained (word?) that we MUST get angry if someone’s a jerk in traffic.
Of course, actually DOING it is a lot harder :).